Sunday, April 5, 2009

Creepy People Who Talk To You On the Bus One-Liner Sunday (Desperate Catch-Up Edition)

"They - they may take me soon. I realized that after they finally repossessed our walls. I'm going to make a run for the Dairy Queen. Meet me there in five minutes and we'll talk about your crappy GM."

Twenty minutes later, Ziggy had a fresh pair of slippers.

This is how Ziggy excuses himself when surprised by sudden visitors while viewing his cute baby animal websites.

Ziggy's visitors have already tagged this strip with the word "cynical." Perhaps that's warranted: the answer to this bird's question is that the base of the bath is a pipe that goes directly to the kitchen of a Golden Corral buffet.

"OO-RAH ONGOLO MAKEESH!" Agents of the IRS will often begin to summon demons as a way of intimidating the taxpaying American into not staying long.

Unfortunately those two words, in their dialect, translate loosely as, respectively, "white meat" and "dark meat."

Not to mention that fact that these aliens have finally learned about out culture and our lack of common sense and have gotten very efficient at "processing" humans.

"The other secret is that I murder everybody I tell this to in an effort to preserve the first secret! It's funny how life works - enjoy your sloppy joe!"

This anthropomorphization of a common household object would have been more convincing if Ziggy hadn't told us last week that his cat needed "meow meow" money for heroin.

Ziggy has a secret Telephone Computer Voice fetish that he satisfies at a costly $2.99 a minute.

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