Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Cruel Nihilism of Context

Content no longer merely to stand and refuse service to downtrodden consumers, the Complaints Man has decided to go all the way, damaging the psyches of customers and ruining their day by providing some logical but unwanted context.

Look at the terribly smug way in which Complaints Man dispenses his despair. These Big Picture people aren't a hit in social situations, but they provide a much needed service; it's important to know that our random flailing attempts at goodness and happiness will eventually lead to nothing as all matter freezes to absolute zero for eternity in the final heat death of the universe.

I can't help but notice that Mr. "One-Day-You-and-Everybody-That-You-Know-Will-Be-Dead" has failed to internalize his own philosophy: not only did he go to work, but he put on a tie. Listen - if I have the final infinite stillness of all matter on my mind, I am not exacerbating the whole situation by putting on a tie.

Finally, is Big Picture Guy perhaps this guy's brother?

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